Captain Greenlump

Our escape from the clutches of Joytown law saved the lives of both us and our captured comrades, but as fate would have it, it wasn’t the end of our darkest hour.
After saving our skin, we started collecting any debts and favours to gather the necessary funds and forces to rescue our crew and ship. I was tasked with recruitment of the new members, a task I have up to this day as you can see. This meant that my work was to be done away from our ship, whilst captain was raiding the northern Dwarven coasts, as far away from Joytown as possible, whilst remaining in the lucrative waters of the Sea of Joy.
The news of my cap’n’s capture by the Dwarves caught me by surprise. Apparently he got the information that a dwarven treasure ship, disguised as a simple rotten carrack, to avoid us merry pirate folk, was supposed to be making its way to the elven lands, to seal a political alliance. It was however a bait, and the ship was instead carrying adventurers hired to get rid of the pirate menace. Our cap’n was captured and taken to the dwarven port of Grimdrakh, where he was mutilated tortured and was later supposed to be given to the Joytown authorities to do with as they please.
Upon hearing these news, I immediately embarked to Grimdrakh with utmost haste to rescue my cap’n from the rotten dwarven claws. In my outrage however, I forgot that goblins are not really welcome in dwarven lands, and by not welcome I mean not tolerated, and by not tolerated I mean killed upon sight. Fortunately for me, I also forgot that my mug was enriching the walls of many ports, with a nice hefty bounty underneath, a bounty much larger if captured alive, however certainly not as huge as cap’n’s, one could build several castles for the sum they offered for him.
At least the first phase of my rescue plan: finding my way into prison and finding our cap’n there went splendidly. I was given a nice dark cell on one of the lowest floors of the downwards underground prison spire, right across from my captain and I was commended for my brilliant attempt.
As I was sitting there, waiting for the Joytown envoy to arrive and take us to our execution, I realized that cap’n didn’t seem a little tad bit worried, now I generally too prefer a positive outlook on any situation, but let’s say that the gallows wasn’t among the pubs I wanted to visit this week, and I surely didn’t want it to be my last.
“Cap’n, shouldn’t we be planning some way out? No press, but I don’t think a noose would suit my olive skin.” I said like the charming jester I am, but my cap’n’s reply left me properly flabbergasted as he only said that he believes in the contrary and that we should just accept our deserved fate. I for once couldn’t recognize my cunning and resourceful cap’n, not that I think that he wouldn’t ever surrender, like most of our kind he knew the advantages of a tactical surrender, but this was him throwing away the life of his crew and himself, something fishy was going on here, but there was nothing I could do.
The next morning, we were brought out of our cells by an escort of Grimdrakh guards who then took us to the Joytown envoy’s ship. We were to sail to that island city with a dwarven ambassador, who would be properly rewarded for collecting our bounties. The ship was filled with at least thirty Joytown soldiers and the ambassador had about eight well armoured bodyguards. We were left chained and guarded in the cargo hold with four guards watching over us, and once we embarked upon the open seas, I lost almost all hope of escape. I know that this mindset of mine seems a recurring aspect of these tales of mine, but believe me that this happens all the time under our cap’n; inescapable situations are our daily bread. As you can obviously see we escaped from this one as well, differently however than I expected.
You see, about an hour later, cap’n started complaining about a terrible itch and he mockingly asked our guard’s whether they would mind loosening his shackles a little. ‘Twas a funny little joke… until the guard produced a key from his pockets and started unchaining my cap’n, with the words “No problem boss.” no less. I…needed some answers, but before I managed to find the thing that was on the tip of my tongue, but decided to jump overboard, cap’n only asked the guards: “Are the dwarves dead yet?” and he was answered with a friendly nod. “W…W…What…” I managed to stutter. Cap’n looked at me and remarked. “We are going to collect my bounties friend, all of them.”

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