Mallet of Ogre Magi

And so our champions found themselves un in unenviable situation. The Darkshadow imposter was yet to awaken from his self-induced sleep and Clary had to use all of her abilities to keep him alive. But as patience wasn’t a strong suit of neither Roderick nor Magizor, they both had other plans than to wait for the inevitable interrogation.
“I am intrigued in what this scoundrel is hiding, but waiting here is pointless while there may be more enemies skulking around.” said Magizor, who then shouted at Roderick:
“You, imbecile! We shall explore this ruin further, perhaps we shall find something to increase my power, and I am sure that there will be something to fulfil your primitive lusts.”
“I couldn’t have said it better myself my dear personification of self-important pompous arrogance, let us find what glorious rewards this noble ruin holds.”
And with that, these unlikely companions approached the door leading forward. Four letters were written on the door ATEM. The duo paid no heed to the letters and stepped into a five foot wide corridor of cobblestone; Roderick in the front and Magizor right behind him.
The corridor was very smooth and clean and lit by conveniently placed torches.
“The Game Master seems to favour us today, I have seen my share of inexplicably lit torches on my quests, but never so many.” remarked Roderick happily
“So you imbecile believe her speech about this ultimate entity that rules our universe. I am sceptical of her faith; one god that rules above all other gods, to hold so much power…it is hard to imagine even for a being of my calibre, but I imagine that you simpletons are more easy to sway.” scoffed Magizor
“Well my power-hungry condescending ally, it is true that I was quick to accept this new deity, for their existence explains something what was up to this point inexplicable, so I follow this very simple logic, if they don’t exist, how do you explain the torches?”
“Magic, everything can be explained by enough magic. If I wanted, I could light up every torch in this world so that it never fades away.”
“Well if that is true my companion of atrophied muscles, who are you to say that there isn’t a higher entity who does just that, if you say that everything can be explained by magic, doesn’t that also mean that nothing can be refuted, as even the most bizarre things are possible on a practical scale. Imagine a world in which magic doesn’t have rules and can be used as a metaphorical omnipotent plot device, if a storyteller were to write of an adventure in such a world, the stakes of the story would depend entirely on the writer’s whim and thus the stakes would be an illusion, as the entire plot could be literally solved by a swish of a magic wand, only an accomplished storyteller could create a tale of the ages in such a world.”
“You insolent worm, aren’t you a little bit philosophical for being such a brute. Yet your talk does possess at least a grain of sense, I suppose that magic cannot explain everything, especially since the system of this world has at least somewhat defined rules on magic.”
“Yet my sharp-eared comrade I feel that the rules have changed over the eons. The wizards of old cou…”
“Silence…I know full well what you speak off, I myself have been a victim to the changing eras. My powers are still overwhelming of course, but I have felt this waning as well. Perhaps you would also make a more cunning minion than I originally assumed. Perhaps there truly was a reason why the four of us were brought together.”
Roderick laughed a hearty laugh upon hearing this and remarked;
“That seems oddly out of character my dear egotistical partner.”
“There is something wrong with this corridor, it is addling my brilliant mind, we must get out of here as quickly as possible, even if we have to break a wall to do so.” said Magizor with a pained and confused look
“I believe we already did break a wall.” remarked Roderick stoically
“What are you babbling about you worthless simian!?
“Nothing, I just think the Game Master went off at a tangent.” said Roderick
“Well If this idiocracy is the Game Master’s idea of a joke, I would like to tell them that it is stupid and going for far too long” Shouted Magizor angrily.
And just like that, the duo reached a door at the end of the corridor and frantically made their way in. They were winded and afraid and they quickly sat against the door and waited for the world to make sense again.
“We shall never speak of what happened there worm, or I will burn you to cinders and use those cinders to set your home on fire.” threatened Magizor
“What ungodly words was my tongue forced to say, Where is some evil enemy to vanquish so that I may repent myself in the blood of the wicked.” said Roderick, ignoring Magizor in the process.
The two drained champions were too afflicted by what they just saw that they didn’t notice that a third presence, meticulously hidden behind a table (even though its 10 feet tall body stuck out a bit) was present in the room.
It was only when the ground shaking voice of the creature sounded that the heroes noticed the being.
“I couldn’t help but to overhear your conversation gentlemen, your talk of magic intrigued me, for I too am a mage, and I would like to add that I find most strange how healing used to be necromantical in nature, but now it’s evocati…” Said a ten foot ogre in a blue night gown and with a wooden mallet in hand.
As the ogre was talking, Roderick started shouting:
“This vile fiend is trying to curse us, It is the power behind that accursed corridor. Die you monster, face the judgement of my wrath and fall to my honour and glory.”
He charged at the ogre with weapon in hand and started slashing with colourful bravado.
“I shall vanquish thee evildoer, you are but a puny mage, there is nothing you can do to stop my righte…”
“I CAST SMASH!”
And with a simple, but quite unbreakable spell, Roderick lay broken on the cobblestone floor.
“Distasteful manners you pink-skins have. No offense of course.” said the ogre calmly towards Magizor before continuing:
“I don’t mean to stereotype or anything, we live in a world where entire races are categorized as irredeemably evil, which from a metaphysical view and by mere common sense isn’t very logical, even though this world has purely evil demons of black-white morality, so perhaps black-white evil morality can be given to races as there is a precedence already, and it makes the system easier to work with. I…”
“No matter how much you torture me hag, my mind shall not break, I challenge you to a magical duel to the death!” said Magizor with astounding confidence
“Wha….” said the ogre.
“Die Then!” said Magizor and began to recite his incantations.
His eyes and hands burst into fire and fiery runes started appearing around him. The air was filled with unimaginable power and the very fabric of the world began shaking with the phenomenal might that was needed to maintain the spell.
And in just a few moments, a swarm of meteors started raining from the ceiling. at least four dozens of explosive fireballs concentrated on the ogre fell and turned the entire area into a giant crater. The ogre was dead after a single meteor, and this entire powerful display was the definition of heroic overkill, but the hero prevailed and the evil foe was slain (well…). So everything was in perfect order. Magizor quickly grabbed Roderick and started taking him back through the damned corridor from which they came, back towards Clary and Darkshadow, before the entire room fell on their heads.
There was no confusing meta-commentary this time, for Roderick was unconscious, and Magizor’s mind was filled with only one thought: “Only one spell left.”

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