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Now my friend I would like to show you something truly remarkable, just come with me over there to that…
(Be careful you oaf! You almost made the bird fall down, and need I remind you what happened the last time the bird got out of its jar?)

But that customer really wanted to see the bird fly. And we should always try to appease our customers.

(All right, but you’ll be the one cleaning the blood if something goes wrong)

Of course Jenny, of course. But I know what I’m doing.

My friend, I originally wanted to show you something different first, but since I can see that this bird has sparked your interest, I shall tell you something about it first.

(Great idea, yeah he will certainly buy it after that! You are a genius.)

Now you wouldn’t believe it, but even though this specimen is all delicate and colourful and pretty, it comes from the Yugoth Swamp. How does it survive in such a hostile environment you ask? Well why don’t I show you. Just put these very affordable magical earmuffs to stop the effect and I will…

(Don’t you dare, don’t you bloody dare you…you…)

*Clank*

*Bird Singing*

Now you can see, Jenny is not behaving like her usual self once the bird had been released

(I can taste all the pretty colours. The world is a sooo wonderful…ta-da-da-dee-da.)

From my own experience I can tell you that the bird’s song puts you into a psychotic trance of sorts, a very vivid one I might add. It’s quite an interesting experience I would recommend you to try, but well…the bird usually uses this opportunity to drain the victim of its blood; speaking of which…

(Look Braxi, I found a friend. Look how it’s caressing my neck.)

Yeah…we will sort that out later. First I need to tell you a funny story concerning this specific bird. There was this one elven noble who was very interested in exotic animals and he paid us a good sum each time we brought him something he hadn’t seen.

Well we brought this pretty bird to him, and he scorned us for our handling of such a beautiful creature, because we put it under a soundproof lid. He insisted that he wanted to hear the bird sing.

I am someone who always wishes to fulfil all customer’s wishes, so I naturally said nothing against it and we made our way out.

(My friend has given me a red scarf. I must look beautiful. How Maaarvelous.)

We returned a month later with yet another haul and wouldn’t you know it, the customer realized his as of yet unknown talent in artistry and went missing after painting his mansion pink and saying he needed to find himself. 

As fate would have it, the guards around the mansion disappeared as well, either due to unknown circumstances, or because they found newfound joy in the world. The only remaining servant in the mansion was a deaf old majordomo who was just packing his things, saying that some curse befell the building. We of course thought that since nobody lived here anymore, we might just take a few things with us before any looters found their way here, and we took this little fella back with us as well. He served us well during our escapades, but it’s about time it finds a new home.

Oh…be careful not to slip on the blood, how shameful to have such a safety hazard in our shop, I will clean it in a bit. Now to end this demonstration, I will need some pliers…oh, here they are. Now Jenny, would you mind standing still for a bit.

(I’m standing still Braxi, It’s the floor that keeps moving.)

Of course.

*Blood splattering*

Now back into the cage with you little fella.

 Now that that’s settled, I will add the bird, the earmuffs and the soundproof cage to your shopping list, what say you?

Silence is golden, and since gold is what is needed here, I take it as a definitive yes.

Jenny should be her usual self in just a minute, I might just get rid of the blood before that happens. Why don’t you look around for a bit? Oh and don’t try to open the doors, I’m sure you would like to help us with them, but if me and Jenny weren’t able to open them, no one but the best of locksmiths can.

Well, perhaps there could be one thing that could open them, you might as well buy it to try yourself. I will show you where it is, the blood is not as important as customer’s happiness. So come with me please, I’m sure this might interest you.

(Where am I? What happened? Why is there blood on the floor? Why am I blee…)

*Silence*

(BRAXIGOR!!!)