Boblin’s Blackjack

This tavern looks like a proper hive of scum and villainy aye? All of ye pirates, scoundrels, mercenaries, sell-swords and monstrous folk rejoice, for I come here into you little den in the name of my most esteemed cap’n, The Scourge of the Sea of Joy, The Green Terror, The Mad Murderer, The one and only…Captain Greenlump. I come here to offer you a place in our crew; all of ye brave enough to accept shall be rewarded with fortune and glory beyond your imaginations. Pillaging, plundering, raiding and slaying are our routines. We laugh in the face of death and danger for there is nothing that can stop our cap’n once he set his sight upon something, but I believe you’ve all already heard of him haven’t ye, so there is nothing more to…
What did you say? That you haven’t heard of my captain. Someone, take the fool outside and tell him of the mighty deeds Cap’n Greenlump had done. What do you mean by “No one here has heard of him.” None of you have heard of the Battle of the Crystalline Bay? The Arson of Aankaarell? Not even the Raid of Gnomš? (What backwards hole have I stepped into this time). Well since you lot are so uneducated, it looks like it’s up to me to enlighten you about the greatest pirate to have ever sailed these seas.
Someone bring me a stool and a bottle of rum. You there fiddler, start fiddling that fiddle of yours. Light up the hearth and all of you gather ’round me, for I have tales to tell to you now.
So…let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
From what I’ve heard, our captain was always a little bit of an outcast, even among his own kind and that’s probably the reason he was never a part of any goblin tribe or anything. I personally still don’t know whether he is a madman or a genius, but I don’t care, because he gets us through crap anyway. No one except for his closest mates know what he was up to before he made a name for himself, but it doesn’t really matter, because our first tale is the one that truly made him famous, or infamous I should rather say. It is the story, of how cap’n and his crew of two other goblins and one kobold managed to steal a mighty military galleon.
It happened on a bright and sunny summer day in Joytown, our cap’n and his companions were spending their time for whoever knows what reason, when they noticed a great magnificent ship docking in the harbour. I said it was a galleon, but that ain’t exactly true. It was a strange gigantic hybrid of a ship. Over 220 feet long and the beam of about 30 feet. It had four huge masts rigged with four enormous sails, however unlike other ships of its kind it also had two banks of oars and quite a shallow depth. So something between a galleon and a galley one could say. Oh, and I forgot to mention the various ballistae, catapults and a handful of those new things called cannons it had on board. Our cap’n knew that stealing such a vessel wouldn’t be exactly easy and so he needed the most valuable asset there is (besides numbers, firepower, magics, and a bunch of other stuff) information. That’s where one of our cap’s first and most trusted advisors comes through, a spy like no other a goblin who turned his greatest weakness into his greatest asset…Boblin the Goblin. A small and inconspicuous rogue, born with a hideous deformity rare in our kind, one that the humies call “a cute and loveable face”. For some reason the so called “sophisticated races” find him trustworthy and often allow him on their greatest secrets without much coercion. That’s why he was assigned to infiltrate the ship to find out more about the crew, where they drink, what they do, when they sleep, and most importantly, if anyone of them could be persuaded into joining our cap’n’s crew instead. The cunning mastermind that is Boblin managed to do so without much effort and quickly became a relished part of the crew, but none of them knew of the intricate web of lies and trickery he was spinning to prepare them for the next phase in Captain Greenlump’s great plan.

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